A Lesson About Pain

Holy Saturday I was able to get out for a 3 1/2 mile walk with my backpack on. Right at the beginning of the walk some pain in my left leg surprised me. I didn't know if I'd be able to do even a mile, but decided not to say anything to my walking partner, Sue, hoping the pain would work itself out. Well, to my surprise, it did! Engaging in an interesting conversation, I soon realized that my leg wasn't hurting at all. That's a good lesson for me to remember. Not all pains are going to be bothersome.
We'll be leaving a week from Tuesday!

Lesson from Cutting Flowers

A dear couple, friends of Mount St. Mary House of Prayer for years, brought us a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Easter. Since Sr. Theresina's back has been bothering her, she hasn't been down to the House of Prayer for a couple of weeks -- and she is our official flower-arranger (and taker-carer!).
I knew enough to cut the stems before putting them in water, and so I started, one stem at a time. But, hey! how about doing all of them at once?! And so I tried -- to no avail. The scissors were just not sharp enough, or I was just not strong enough. It was back to cutting them one at a time. And as I did, I thought: one at a time; one day at a time; one step at a time. That works! One at a time works! When I try to do more than that, my energy is sapped. A graced lesson from the flowers.

Two Weeks and Counting!

In exactly two weeks, my sister CJ, niece Jean and I will be heading to Spain to begin our pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago. We'll arrive in Madrid on the 30th and then head to Sarria on May 2nd to begin our walk. Whew! This feels like just another example of how "time flies" in my life. And before we know it, we'll be back home. But what difference will this pilgrimage make in our lives?

There's a song I heard recently by Carmel Boyle called My Soul's Desire. After asking many questions of the listener:
      What is your desire?
      What is your longing?...
      And what's your soul's desire?
the refrain begins with:
      My soul's desire
      Is to see the face of God.
      My soul's desire
      Is to walk the sacred path.

To see the face of God and to walk the sacred path. That is my soul's desire.

Active / Passive Prep

When I began this blog, I did so at the request of a couple of people who wanted to know about my preparations for doing The Camino de Santiago in May. When I look back at the posts, I see many ways I've prepared, most notably in reading about other people's experiences and exercising. Since my fall on black ice over a month ago, I haven't done any physical exercise. On the contrary, I carefully watch every step I take outside, and have slowed down considerably when walking inside. I'm beginning to fear I've lost ground in my physical preparations -- and I had been doing so well!

So, I haven't blogged because I haven't been preparing... or have I?! Perhaps this slowing down is actually playing a role in my prep for the Camino. I haven't actively prepared, but perhaps I'm being prepared! We've been so busy at the House of Prayer, with many deadlines to meet and great decisions to make. And in the midst of it all, I've had days in which I couldn't leave St. Joseph's, where I reside, to do my work. At the same time, deadlines are amazingly being met! I've unashamedly asked for an arm from complete strangers when I've ventured out, concerned about my footing on possibly slippery ground. I've accepted rides to visit my brother in Oradell from generous friends. Necessity breaks down my independent, self-reliant spirit. How all of this will play out in the actual pilgrimage I have yet to learn, but at least I realize the passive preparations that are being done to me!

Still Believing

The inspirational calendar hanging in my bedroom has this to say for January: "Believe that something wonderful is about to happen."  That sentiment takes on greater meaning now that I am dealing with a fractured arm! I could see it as ironic -- a fractured arm is anything but wonderful! Or I could see it as a call to take a contemplative stance towards this situation -- to look beyond what seems to be "obviously" bad luck.
Of course, with this latest setback, I'm concerned about being in shape for the Camino. But can I trust that, regardless of what this accident looks like, "something wonderful is about to happen"?
And what about you, dear reader?

Centering Prayer

In one of the books I read, Grandma's on the Camino: Reflections on a 48-Day Walking Pilgrimage to Santiago, by Mary O'Hara Wyman, I was impressed with the power the practice of Centering Prayer had on the author. Sometimes Mary would have very difficult, exhausting days, and be tempted to end her pilgrimage. She even fell a few times! But when she'd find a spot to sit and do Centering Prayer, that pause would not only refresh, but also give her the courage to continue the journey. If I remember correctly, Mary was in her 70's and making the pilgrimage to Santiago alone. What an example of the power of prayer!

Le Regard

"Regarding" demands awareness and takes energy.

Kevin A. Codd has this to say about Le Regard (To the Field of Stars: A Pilgrim's Journey to Santiago de Compostela):

The French existentialists write much about le regard, the look, as a fundamental principle of human relationships. If I remember my philosophy classes from years ago, good regard makes another person or thing a subject in relationship with me. The other is no longer then just an object, an "it," something outside of me, the existentialists say. It makes you and me an us. Bad regard or no regard keeps us trapped in a loveless and meaningless world where no one ever knows anyone... Regarding is one of the best lessons I am slowly learning on this road. Truly looking at things, beholding, appreciating, pondering, allowing them into me; this is what happens when I notice a flower or a person or talk to an old statue of Santiago in a niche somewhere.

I don't have to wait to walk the Camino. How can I practice "Le Regard" today?